Wednesday, July 14, 2010

You Know That Society Is Doomed . . .

When President Obama is blamed for causing the BP oil spill because he dissed Israel.

When a man takes his mother hostage for not ironing his clothes.

When a woman crashes her car into a liquor store -- for the second time.

When General Motors employees are told to no longer refer to Chevrolets as Chevys.

When a six-year-old girl is on the U.S. government's "no-fly" list.

When parents brawl at a kindergarten graduation.

When voters tend to support political incumbents more when their local football team is winning.

When a restaurant serves food only from countries that the U.S. is in conflict with.

When a veteran editor covering the Middle East is canned for tweeting that she admired a Lebanese cleric with ties to militants who had passed away.

When a woman blames a vampire for a car crash.

When a state releases a training video for its police offices on how to act like they're not racial profiling when they racial profile.

When a couple tries to sell their baby at a Wal-Mart for an "every day low price."

When Apple censors a version of Joyce's "Ulysses" for being too graphic.

When a candidate threatens her opponent with a lawsuit because she claims her published opinions on policy issues are protected by copyright.

When Wal-Mart spends over $1 million in legal fees rather than pay a $7,000 fine.

When a tween star's fan base becomes alienated because their idol is growing up.

When Republicans support higher unemployment.

When siblings fight over whether to put butter or margarine in a macaroni and cheese casserole.

When a priest steals $1 million for male escorts and nice clothes.

When a man shows a woman and daughter his "grape nuts" in a supermarket cereal aisle.

When Subway changes the way it puts cheese on subs.

When a crossing guard beats up a boy for calling him "fatso."

When a man steals a tractor from a construction site to go on a beer run.

When a woman intentionally shoots herself in the shoulder so she can get emergency room treatment.

When a guy tells police that Hitler made him grow pot plants.

When LeBron James' move to the Miami Heat helps the Tea Party.

Click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here for previous installments of You Know Society Is Doomed.

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